We’re not speaking to the neighbors again. On one severed hand it’s been quiet, but on the other it’s that spooky sort of quiet that usually means something nasty is about to jump out at you. Usually that something is me. This time it will probably be the SPCA.
It’s about their dog. Or it was about their dog. Now it’s about our leftovers.
Let me explain something to some of you dog owners, and you all know who you are. To you, he’s a cuddly little darling, your sweet little poopsie-kins. I know how you love his “personality” and how he’s always “talking.” That’s your perspective, and while I may not agree, I will shamble for your right to be as deluded as you want to be.
But that right ends at your property line. That “personality” you’re so proud of is aggressive and annoying. When you hear your dog “talking,” everyone else hears out-of-control yapping. And when my hungry brood sees a loose dog running toward them, barking its fool head off, they see a free lunch.
I truly do not understand why people let their little dogs run loose. They are not that damn cute to anyone but their owners. They are, however, delicious, nutritious, and the perfect size for a hearty snack or a light lunch. Just keep in mind, that when you’re fussing over your “widdle poopsie-kins”, not everyone sees him the same way you do.
It’s no skin off my nose (not that I have much left) if you don’t keep your dog on a leash. Really – I don’t mind if someone wants to feed my kids for free once in a while. Just don’t go crying to the Humane Society if your darling chases the wrong kid and becomes doggie tartare. If you want your overgrown rat to live a long and healthy life, fence his yappy ass in.
Your dog’s bark may be worse than his bite, but I can’t say the same for my kids.