What’s With All The Face-Biting?

What’s with all you wanna-be zombie breathers?  Earlier last week, we came across a report of another face-biting incident.  This one involved radio show host Danny Bonaduce (also of The Partridge Family fame).

Chatting with fans at a Washington state casino Friday, Bonaduce, 53, encountered the woman during a meet-and-greet and she asked for a kiss after lavishing him with praise for his Partridge Family role. “They were tiny little Chucky teeth. Man, they just gnawed like piranhas,” Bonaduce told KIRO-TV of the woman’s teeth, which she sunk into his cheek near his left ear. “People are trying to pull her off me . . . I’m screaming like a baby.”

Clearly, the fact that Mr. Bonaduce was able to recount the incident for the press is evidence enough that this attack was not perpetrated by a true zombie.

Once again, there were attempts to blame bath-salts for the woman’s behavior, but given that no facial tearing actually occurred, it would not be a stretch to determine that she just might have been a little nuts.

Of course if the woman had been one of the horde, the incident might have gone something like the following:

Chatting with fans at a Washington state casino Friday, the late Mr. Bonaduce, 53, encountered the woman during a meet-and-greet and she asked for a kiss after lavishing him with praise for his Partridge Family role. Per reports, the woman sunk her teeth into the former child-actor’s cheek and then proceeded to tear off half his face as he started to scream like a baby.  Horrified bystanders attempted to pull the woman off Mr. Bonaduce, but they in turn were also bitten. 

Speaking with some lucky souls who got out just after the incident, they did report seeing the partially dismembered corpse of Mr. Bonaduce dragging itself along the bloodied casino floor while moaning something that sounded like “rur ruuurrruuurrr arrrrggghhhh C’mon get happy…ruuurrrhhh”

Immediately following the attack the casino was quarantined.  Attempts to get in or out are being met with heavy fire from national guardsmen who refused to be interviewed.

Leave a Comment